It's time

I'm itchy. It's time for Betty (or possibly, Leah Grace Elizabeth) to be home. Home, already. I'm itchy because it takes far more time than it should, particularly for a sick baby. I'm itchy because Betty was sick with the flu last week and I wasn't there to make sure she is okay. I'm itchy because Uganda is experiencing violence and I want to protect my girl. I'm itchy because DCFS is taking their own sweet time to approve my file. I'm itchy because we have a family vacation in November and I want Betty on the trip. I'm itchy because Betty needs to be on the right cocktail, not just any cocktail. I'm itchy because Seth wants to know where Betty is and "Uganda" doesn't really explain it to him. I'm itchy because it's summer and oh what fun we would have if she were here! I'm itchy because I'm not even fingerprinted or USCIS approved yet. I'm itchy!

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Lord, we know that you are the beginning and the end and that Your timing is perfect. I pray for Your perfect peace over when Betty comes home. But Lord, I pray You would intervene to bring her home quickly. Speed DCFS approval and USCIS. I pray that You would protect her and kiss her boo-boos until we can do it. I pray that You would suppress her HIV and keep her free from infection. Last, Lord, I pray Betty would know You -- somewhere in the deepness of her soul -- even though she is a little one. Amen!

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Have mercy, Lord!

Why adopt?

I was recently reading a blog (imagine that) and one particular statement stuck out to me. The author said something along the lines of the following:
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"Saving" or "rescuing" an orphan happens in an instant; parenting an orphan lasts a lifetime.
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I love that. It is important to give orphans a home, but removing them from their circumstances is only the first, small step in the process. See, it's easy to fall in love with a face or a dream. It's much harder to recognize that signing up is a lifelong commitment! And what fun that adventure can be! It's these faces that make it all worth it.

But for those who cannot or choose not to adopt, there are soooo many ways to care for orphans. Won't you consider the alternatives? Support a friend who is adopting -- financially or with prayer or simply with logistics. Sponsor an orphan overseas (see two posts below for one option). Help out a foster parent down the street. Take food to a single mama who is overwhelmed. Volunteer at a shelter for women and children. And perhaps most importantly, teach your children. Teach them that caring for the world around them is God's command for all of us. No matter what form it takes. "Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans." Isaiah 1:17.

Seth and Betty

Seth and I have been talking about Betty for a month or so now. Since Seth is a "new" talker, it is fun to hear him try to express himself around non-concrete topics, like Betty.
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A couple of days ago, Seth came into my bedroom and asked, "Where's Betty?" As he did so, he pointed to my dresser mirror, which currently looks like this:

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I asked, "Where is Betty?" And Seth said, "Yes, Betty." I said, "Well, Betty is in Uganda. That's why we pray for her to come home. Betty lives in Uganda." At that, Seth stopped and got a funny look on his face. A couple seconds later, he asked, "Uganda truck?" What, you might be wondering, is he talking about and what do trucks have to do with Betty? Ha. Easy explanation. I got Seth a truck in Uganda and we called it "Uganda Truck."

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So, somewhere is my sweet son's mind, Betty is living in this truck or near this truck or is related to this truck. See, I'm not sure he has any idea what "Uganda" is or that it is a place! I love watching him try to wrap his brain around these things. And, yes, Lord, let's get Betty out of the truck and into our house. Soon!!!

Caring for Orphans

God's command to care for orphans looks different for different people. For some, it may not mean adopting. Would you consider caring for one of these orphans by providing them valuable education? Each of these children is cared for by Nsambya -- Betty's orphanage. Each of them is an orphan. Each of them need education, perhaps their only chance at ending the cycle of poverty in which they are trapped. There is no free public education in Uganda. To go to school you must pay for school. If you are interested in helping, leave me a comment or send an email and I will connect you with the right people.

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Meet Felix. Felix came to Nsambya when he was five months old and is now 4 and a half years old. He is in nursery school and soon, primary school. His schooling costs $480 per year. Oh, those eyes.... SPONSORED

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Meet Mark. He has a foster family (so he is not growing up in an orphanage) but the family is having difficulty paying for school. He is in second grade. His schooling is $480 per year. I just want to smooch him!

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Meet Patrick. He is five years old and has been at Nsambya for most of his young life. I met Patrick when we were in Kampala. His schooling is $480 per year. Seth, Betty and I will be covering Patrick's school costs. (and, who knows what the future holds for us with Patrick. I'm just sayin'.....).

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Meet Karungi. She also has a foster family who cannot afford her school fees. Isn't she just adorable? Her school fees are $490 per year. I love that precious angel look on her face. SPONSORED

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Meet Abraham. He has been at Nsambya for 14 years. (Sigh) He is in 6th grade and is doing well but needs help with fees. His total cost is $600 per year. Help this handsome young man!

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Meet Dylan. Dylan's story is very sad. He was stolen from his family. The perpetrator is in jail and Dylan is now in a foster family. His school fees are $480 per year but the family cannot afford to pay for them. Dylan needs urgent assistance. If his needs are not met, he will be returned to the orphanage. Sweet boy.....

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Last, Claire. Claire is in a foster family in 5th grade. Her school fees are a whopping $700 per year and the family cannot afford that. Claire looks like an absolute delight. Won't you consider gifting her??

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For half the cost of your flat screen TV or for the cost of two nights in a hotel, you could help these kids. Won't you consider a small sacrifice to make a big difference????

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"If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother." Deuteronomy 15:7

HIV Facts

As I've continued to research, I have come across the following facts or quotes which are my new favorites:

• Children living with HIV in parts of the world with easy access to good health care, and HIV medications (AKA Antiretroviral medications, ARVs, and HAART or Highly Active Antiretoviral Therapy) have an excellent prognosis. Since HAART began in 1996 we have seen a rapid decline in the number of people with AIDS in many parts of the world. It has increased the number of people living with HIV. This is because without HAART HIV will progress to AIDS. . . . . Many many people who started this therapy 11 years ago are alive today and doing well with their HIV so well controlled it is not even detectable in their blood. This means their immune system functions almost like people without HIV. It means they can go to school, college, get married and have babies- and they are doing all of these things and more. Many of you, if asked, would say you do not know anyone with HIV, but the reality is that many of you do and you just don't know it. . . . . They are all in schools with kids like your kids and you would never know what they are walking around with. But, you don't really need to know, unless it's someone you are close to and you can offer help with childcare when they travel to see the HIV clinic every three months.
• Do HIV+ children pose a risk to other children in their homes, schools, churches, etc.?
  None. (read that period aloud) There is no known documented case of a child passing HIV to another child in school or church.
• "Don't spend time worrying about weird and obscure ways of transmitting the virus. The simple fact is that if no one shared needles and everyone wore condoms, the HIV epidemic would disappear." - Joel Gallant, M.D., M.P.H., Professor of Medicine & Epidemiology in the Division of Infectious Diseases and Associate Director of the Johns Hopkins AIDS Service at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine
• 93 deaths every DAY in car accidents1 - 4 every HOUR
  10 deaths every DAY from swimming accidents
  8 deaths every DAY from fire accidents
  4.9 deaths every DAY from falling on stairs
  2.5 deaths every DAY from choking
  1.5 deaths from lightening strike every WEEK
  4.4 deaths on amusement park rides per year
  Over the past 28 years that HIV/AIDS has been carefully tracked by the Centers for Disease Control, there have been only 8 reported, though unconfirmed, cases of household transmission of the virus. 8 in 28 years
  (It is important to note that among those 8 cases were hemophiliac brothers sharing razors, some elderly women not using simple universal precautions for years, and some individuals living in bizarrely unsanitary conditions, further proving that under ‘normal’ household conditions, the virus is almost impossible to pass. - Also there have been no further cases since 1994, likely due to vast changes in the ratio of people w/ AIDS vs. HIV and the life altering improvements in medicine.)
• Children with HIV are perfectly safe to be around, hug, kiss, and share food and bathrooms with. For this reason, generally people with HIV are not required by law to tell ANYONE about their condition, including schools and even dentists.
• You are 287 times more likely to be struck DEAD by lightning than accidentally contract HIV from living with a positive person.
• Pray for Betty. Healing, Lord!!

My niece, Kathryn

We were in Maryland with my sister's family last weekend. It was a great time for Seth with his cousins and family. We had such a blast!

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Shortly after the Betty discussions started in our family, I heard that Kathryn, my 13 year old niece, had a "presentation" for me, related to Betty. Hmmm. This weekend, while I was there, I got to see the presentation. But before we talk about that, here's a bit about Kathryn.

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I adore all my nieces and nephews. They are all so unique and special and have a ton of character. :) Kathryn is brilliant and excels at everything she does. She plays soccer and manages to get invited to every cool event -- including the Presidential inauguration. Hello?!?!? Kathryn has long said that she wants to and intends to attend Princeton. I have no doubt that she will do it.

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So there's the background. Kathryn's presentation was all about why I should take her to Uganda with me when we go get Betty. As you can see, she is a bit nervous here in the beginning.

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The poster was very impressive!

Can you see the thought bubble?

It says there, "Do you see Betty's big smile in the picture? It's because she was thinking about her new cousin that she NEEDS to see as soon as possible." Oh brother!

Kathryn and Seth definitely have a special bond.

On that point, she is right. :)

Kathryn's presentation addressed concerns:

She is thinking through the thought of being gone from school.

Eighth grade is serious business these days!

Kathryn took the initiative to look up Princeton's application process and decided this trip would be the perfect essay. Oy vey.....

Isn't she adorable?

I do believe she thought of everything!

I just had to end where we began. Hahahaha!

I loved Kit's presentation. The bottom line, however, is that it is not up to me. Her parents have to decide whether it makes sense for her to miss school (which is a big deal) and how they feel about disease potential etc. (also serious). I told Kathryn I would gladly take her, IF her dad says it is okay. I did challenge her, however, to have some skin in the game. I told her that if she is allowed to go, I want her to raise $500 to buy supplies and necessities for the people we will see in Uganda. Suffice it to say that I raised this issue and her eyes LIT UP. Kathryn loves a challenge and her mom and I could see the wheels start turning the minute I mentioned it.

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So here's hoping that Kathryn can join the fun. It would be life altering for her, for sure. And stay tuned for additional posts, pending parental approval, about Kathryn's wild fund-raising successes. Gooooo Uganda!

Guess what?!?!?!

This precious little girl . . . .

. . . . With eyes that speak volumes . . . .

. . . . Is Betty . . . .

And, WE ARE ADOPTING BETTY!!!!!!

Seth

I was inspired reading No Greater Mom's story about their daughter who does not speak. (See her blog on the right margin.) No, Seth was never in an orphanage. No, he was not abused nor hurt in anyway. I was blessed to have him straight from the delivery nurse's arms. But nevertheless, as I've written, he has some little issues.

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I got a note from his Occupational Therapist yesterday that read as follows:

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"Seth used some spontaneous language today. He said, "bye, birdies" and answered the question, "What color is this?" He completed an alphabet puzzle and repeated the names of words beginning with specific letters. He spontaneously named objects on a number puzzle as well (baseballs, tooth brush and stars). Seth also enjoyed coloring and helping Joan erase what had been drawn on the dry-erase board. He identified which face was 'happy and sad.' Hope all is well. Seth is doing SO WELL! :-)" Joan

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I was thrilled to see this note when I got home. And then, No Greater Joy mom reminded me that even the small victories in development are victories nonetheless.

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Seth and I celebrated with ice cream. Ahhhh, summer. I won't tell you where that sherbet scoop was just moments before.... (sigh)

Race in the U.S.

I have had some interesting discussions and thoughts on race in America lately. I thought I would share some of those thoughts, mostly because I'm interested in getting more resources from anyone who might be reading!

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To begin, I receive tons of emails from my adoption attorney here in Chicago, providing articles and book reviews and gatherings of other multi-cultural families. It has allowed me to stay up to date on issues and thoughts (some of which I agree with and others, not so much). A few months ago, I got an article that was discussing the way we talk to non-white children about their future. The author made the point that, when raising little girls, we repeatedly tell them that they "can be anything they want to be" when they grow up. See, we aren't afraid of gender. The boy/girl distinctions are ones that we are comfortable discussing and even confronting.

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But it is different with race. The referenced study showed that parents of non-white children are much less likely to talk with their child about their potential in life (unlike in the gender distinctions). The author made the point that we are afraid (read: terrified) to point out and discuss race. Hmmm. I think she has a point.

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Right after I read that, I started to talk to Seth about his beautiful brown skin and mommy's peach colored skin. He looked me like I was crazy, but I know it's all sinkin' in there somewhere! I want Seth to know that his skin is beautiful and that he can "be" whatever he wants when he grows up!

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Then, I had a great conversation with my friend, Kathy, about race. We discussed how it is a good first step when our kids say, "Mom, the color of their skin doesn't matter," but it's only a first step. See, unfortunately, the color of your skin DOES matter in this country. Still. Even with a black President. It matters. So how do we go the next step with our kids?

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I started reading "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla -- Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World" by Marguerite A. Wright. I'm only 40 pages in (so I can't completely endorse it yet) but there is a quote I want to share:

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"Make no mistake: this book would not be necessary were racism irrelevant. Since racism remains very much a fact of U.S. society, responsible parents and caregivers need to reduce its impact on the development of the children they love and care for. Tragically, when they misjudge children's responses to "racial" issues by relying on their own adult views, they run the risk of magnifying the significance of race problems in their children's lives and of reducing their children's initially high capacity to handle these issues in positive ways as they mature."

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Based on my reading of the first few chapters of this book, she is right! We think when a two year old says he "wants to be white" that we have failed to identify with his race, when in reality the child does not understand race identity and may want to be white because he just spent time with his best friend, wearing a white shirt!

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Lord, help me to teach Seth (and any future kiddos) appropriate beliefs about race and loving people the way Jesus would. Help me to protect him from racists views and to comfort him when he is hurt. Thank you for creating us beautifully in our skin -- no matter what color. Amen.

To GOD be the Glory!!

Today at church, I was talking with Katie and another new friend about health issues that arise and how they may impact our faith. As we shared about the way "sickness" has challenged us in our walks with Christ, Katie mentioned that she thinks of me and how I've handled (or not) health challenges. My mind immediately jumped to Seth and I gave a nice little speech about how his issues showed up slowly and then got scarier and now are on the down swing. Just a quick side note: we learned last week that after his December check up, he will only have to see the eye doc once a year. Yippee!! He only sees the endocrinologist twice a year, doesn't have to see the neurologist any more, and is weaning therapy needs, other than speech. Truly, to God be the glory!

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But the funny thing about Katie's remark to me and my diatribe about Seth's health is that she turned to me when I stopped rambling and said, "I wasn't talking about Seth. I was talking about YOU." Wow. I totally missed that. It was far from my mind, which, after the last 8 months, is pretty hilarious. My health issues are far from my consciousness!! I feel great and healthy. I rarely have bad days anymore. I'm truly blessed to be healed and improving further everyday. Isn't it sooo totally awesome how God healed me?!?!? WuhHOOO!

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I want to always remember that time -- the last eight months -- when I was taken to my knees and forced to rely on God and God alone. I wept and prayed and wrestled. I trusted and questioned and, yes, doubted. But my faith (greater and smaller at various points) remained. I'm grateful to many people for prayers and to my doctors for patience and to my nutritionists for thinking outside the box. But mostly to my Heavenly Father.

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That's why, to GOD be the glory!!! Great things He has done.