The Great Adventure

There is a phrase in the adoption community, "Born of my heart," which is intended to capture the miracle of adoption. Pretty good, right? That's a child who is born, not of our body or our biology, but out of the love in our hearts, placed there by God. Before Seth was born, I coined my own phrase, expanding on this one, "Conceived in prayer, born of my heart," for Seth was certainly conceived in my deepest prayers and conversations with God. I still believe that God has placed a particular and specific call on my life to adopt. And he's done it again.

Yep, you guessed it. New blog; new and improved family! I'm so excited I can't stop the tears even as I write this. YAY!!!! My family's second sweet one will be joining us, um, sometime. Hopefully in the next year. We can't know just when a birth mom will choose us, but we are praying this bundle of joy home by Christmas 2010, maybe a lot sooner! I remember when I started the process the first time, Noreen started showing my profile in August 2007 and by September, I was preparing for Seth's arrival. Yaowza! This time, Noreen will have my profile by the second week of January 2010......

Back to "Conceived in prayer, born of my heart." Having experienced it once before, I can tell you without hesitation that adoption is a miracle. Full stop. I will remember the day I found out Seth was coming for the rest of my life. From that day in September until his birth in November, my love for him grew daily. I imagined how he would look. I dreamed of holding him. I quickly prepared my house and, more importantly, my heart. I loved him without knowing him. I prayed for him and birth mom, Grace. That's why, when one of the men who could be Seth's birth father twice said that he wanted to take Seth (once before he was born and once when Seth was five months old) the feeling was the same both times. Panic. This child had already been born into my heart and was "mine" as much as a mother who is carrying a child in her womb. Now that's a miracle! And we're on that road again. I feel my heart growing five times its normal size -- something I will never be able to explain to anyone, but I physically have a feeling inside of me, preparing for another child. Yippee!

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Anyway, enough of this personal celebration I have going on. Making this decision was not easy for me. I had some whisperings the first time around but this time they were different, and harder. This time the whisperings said that it's fine if you have one child and are single, but having TWO children means you are NEVER getting married. I was fixated on this in the fall and struggled to hear God through my inner turmoil. So I have to share this story of God's answer to me. I was on a walk with a dear friend when I raised this issue. Bless her, she stopped in her tracks (literally) and said to me, "You want to adopt another child and aren't doing it because you are afraid you won't get married?" Yep. That's me. Oh me of little faith. She exclaimed to me, "Deb, that is a lie from the pit of hell!" And then she said a prayer for me right there.

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The very next day, another friend sent me a blog about a family who has ten kids, and counting, as they say. It's a beautiful picture of adoption from around the world. My heart. My dream. As I was reading through the blog, I noticed something in the margin. It said, "Should a single woman adopt?" I gulped, concerned about what that posting might say. Concerned that there are plenty of people who believe that only husband and wife can raise children. Did I really want to read this posting? I took a deep breath and clicked on the posting. Let's just say SPOKE RIGHT TO MY HEART. I'm not going to rehash it here, but this is the link:

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http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2009/08/should-single-woman-adopt.html

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Be careful. That blog is addicting!!! :-) I quickly sent the link off to my friend from the day before and said, "Check this out. Aaaaaaaa!!" What she wrote back is one of those emails I will treasure forever. She wrote, in part,

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"Amen. Amen. And Amen to that woman's blog! Hello, word from the Lord. Let it be an encouragement to you, Deb. Fight the fight of faith and trust that His plan is better, way better. That if you go ahead and adopt again that the man that He brings, if that is His will, will love you all the more because you adopted and then adopted again. Nothing is too hard for the Lord! You want a man who values adoption and who deeply loves and respects the passions and sacrifices you have made. YOU DESERVE THAT KIND OF MAN. To put it bluntly, . . . God can bring you a husband that treasures a woman who has adopted 2 children. It may feel impossible. But He's the God of the impossible."

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So, yes. I'm single. And shortly I will have two kids. And maybe down the road I will have another. God is with us. God is sustaining me. God did this to me. :-) Seriously, though. I believe God designed my life for this, built it into my heart, and gave me the resources to make it happen. And I'm going to relish every last second of it and look forward to what's next for my growing family! Yippee!!

Christmas Letter

That’s right. I didn’t write one. For the first time in many years, no Christmas letter. A few weeks ago when I sat down to write one, it just wasn’t coming to me so I decided not to force it. And then we hit “the season” and suddenly I had all kinds of thoughts about what Christmas means to me and what I might write in a letter, but by then it was too late. Figures. So here-I-go-a-blogging the letter….

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My new friend Laura recently mentioned that she thinks “wonder” is a great word. Got me thinking – about the word, what it means, and how right she is. To me, WONDER captures the essence of Christmas, almost better than any other word I can think of! I mean, isn’t that what God really asks us to do? Wonder at His son, born for us to die for us. Wonder at His faithfulness. Wonder at His grace and forgiveness. Wonder at His justice and mercy and goodness and, most of all, holiness.

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God says, "Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it." Mark 10:15; Luke 18:17. Isn’t that the essence of wonder??? Kids are so good at wonder. Seth, for example, has that look permanently affixed to his face right now. We went to a Christmas party at his therapy group and, yep, you guessed it. Santa showed up. Seth was so busy when we got there; running around like a crazy man, shrieking and playing and torturing the other kids. Then Santa walked in. Once I actually managed to get Seth’s attention, this was his face:

I mean, talk about WONDER. He was glued to the man for about five minutes straight. He watched his every move. He physically couldn’t look away!

Then he decided that he needed to show Santa his Duncan train, so he happily danced in circles, showing Duncan to Santa. (Of course, Santa was busy and didn’t notice).


After a while, Seth moved on and was back to running, leaping, crawling and rolling up and down the ramp. (sigh) Oh brother.

To me, that IS Christmas, and it brought tears to my eyes as I sat and watched Seth experience it. No, not "Santa," although I do believe that God delights in our giving gifts to one another. And not the secularization of Christmas. But again, God is bigger than the ways we trivialize the birth of His son. The true meaning of Christmas for me is WONDER. When is the last time that I had THAT look on my face when considering the birth of the Christ child? When is the last time that I took just a minute (much less five) to consider the magnitude of what God did that day? When is the last time that I, like Mary, sang of God's goodness in my life? "My soul, my soul. Magnifies the Lord, my soul. Magnifies the Lord, HE has done great things, great things for me . . . ." I think if I took a little more time to let the reality of CHRISTMAS sink in I just might have THAT look on my face a little more often. Wonder. Amazement. Awe.

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So this Christmas, in this bloggy Christmas letter, we pray that you would experience the wonder of Christmas in all that Christ has done for us. May the true meaning of the day rest deeply in your heart and soul. And, as I always close these things, may Jesus be the twinkle in your eye and the spring in your step -- because He is ours! Merry, merry Christmas!!

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January 1, 2010 HERE WE COME!!!!

Love, Deb & Seth