Caring for Orphans

God's command to care for orphans looks different for different people. For some, it may not mean adopting. Would you consider caring for one of these orphans by providing them valuable education? Each of these children is cared for by Nsambya -- Betty's orphanage. Each of them is an orphan. Each of them need education, perhaps their only chance at ending the cycle of poverty in which they are trapped. There is no free public education in Uganda. To go to school you must pay for school. If you are interested in helping, leave me a comment or send an email and I will connect you with the right people.

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Meet Felix. Felix came to Nsambya when he was five months old and is now 4 and a half years old. He is in nursery school and soon, primary school. His schooling costs $480 per year. Oh, those eyes.... SPONSORED

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Meet Mark. He has a foster family (so he is not growing up in an orphanage) but the family is having difficulty paying for school. He is in second grade. His schooling is $480 per year. I just want to smooch him!

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Meet Patrick. He is five years old and has been at Nsambya for most of his young life. I met Patrick when we were in Kampala. His schooling is $480 per year. Seth, Betty and I will be covering Patrick's school costs. (and, who knows what the future holds for us with Patrick. I'm just sayin'.....).

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Meet Karungi. She also has a foster family who cannot afford her school fees. Isn't she just adorable? Her school fees are $490 per year. I love that precious angel look on her face. SPONSORED

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Meet Abraham. He has been at Nsambya for 14 years. (Sigh) He is in 6th grade and is doing well but needs help with fees. His total cost is $600 per year. Help this handsome young man!

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Meet Dylan. Dylan's story is very sad. He was stolen from his family. The perpetrator is in jail and Dylan is now in a foster family. His school fees are $480 per year but the family cannot afford to pay for them. Dylan needs urgent assistance. If his needs are not met, he will be returned to the orphanage. Sweet boy.....

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Last, Claire. Claire is in a foster family in 5th grade. Her school fees are a whopping $700 per year and the family cannot afford that. Claire looks like an absolute delight. Won't you consider gifting her??

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For half the cost of your flat screen TV or for the cost of two nights in a hotel, you could help these kids. Won't you consider a small sacrifice to make a big difference????

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"If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother." Deuteronomy 15:7

HIV Facts

As I've continued to research, I have come across the following facts or quotes which are my new favorites:

• Children living with HIV in parts of the world with easy access to good health care, and HIV medications (AKA Antiretroviral medications, ARVs, and HAART or Highly Active Antiretoviral Therapy) have an excellent prognosis. Since HAART began in 1996 we have seen a rapid decline in the number of people with AIDS in many parts of the world. It has increased the number of people living with HIV. This is because without HAART HIV will progress to AIDS. . . . . Many many people who started this therapy 11 years ago are alive today and doing well with their HIV so well controlled it is not even detectable in their blood. This means their immune system functions almost like people without HIV. It means they can go to school, college, get married and have babies- and they are doing all of these things and more. Many of you, if asked, would say you do not know anyone with HIV, but the reality is that many of you do and you just don't know it. . . . . They are all in schools with kids like your kids and you would never know what they are walking around with. But, you don't really need to know, unless it's someone you are close to and you can offer help with childcare when they travel to see the HIV clinic every three months.
• Do HIV+ children pose a risk to other children in their homes, schools, churches, etc.?
  None. (read that period aloud) There is no known documented case of a child passing HIV to another child in school or church.
• "Don't spend time worrying about weird and obscure ways of transmitting the virus. The simple fact is that if no one shared needles and everyone wore condoms, the HIV epidemic would disappear." - Joel Gallant, M.D., M.P.H., Professor of Medicine & Epidemiology in the Division of Infectious Diseases and Associate Director of the Johns Hopkins AIDS Service at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine
• 93 deaths every DAY in car accidents1 - 4 every HOUR
  10 deaths every DAY from swimming accidents
  8 deaths every DAY from fire accidents
  4.9 deaths every DAY from falling on stairs
  2.5 deaths every DAY from choking
  1.5 deaths from lightening strike every WEEK
  4.4 deaths on amusement park rides per year
  Over the past 28 years that HIV/AIDS has been carefully tracked by the Centers for Disease Control, there have been only 8 reported, though unconfirmed, cases of household transmission of the virus. 8 in 28 years
  (It is important to note that among those 8 cases were hemophiliac brothers sharing razors, some elderly women not using simple universal precautions for years, and some individuals living in bizarrely unsanitary conditions, further proving that under ‘normal’ household conditions, the virus is almost impossible to pass. - Also there have been no further cases since 1994, likely due to vast changes in the ratio of people w/ AIDS vs. HIV and the life altering improvements in medicine.)
• Children with HIV are perfectly safe to be around, hug, kiss, and share food and bathrooms with. For this reason, generally people with HIV are not required by law to tell ANYONE about their condition, including schools and even dentists.
• You are 287 times more likely to be struck DEAD by lightning than accidentally contract HIV from living with a positive person.
• Pray for Betty. Healing, Lord!!

My niece, Kathryn

We were in Maryland with my sister's family last weekend. It was a great time for Seth with his cousins and family. We had such a blast!

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Shortly after the Betty discussions started in our family, I heard that Kathryn, my 13 year old niece, had a "presentation" for me, related to Betty. Hmmm. This weekend, while I was there, I got to see the presentation. But before we talk about that, here's a bit about Kathryn.

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I adore all my nieces and nephews. They are all so unique and special and have a ton of character. :) Kathryn is brilliant and excels at everything she does. She plays soccer and manages to get invited to every cool event -- including the Presidential inauguration. Hello?!?!? Kathryn has long said that she wants to and intends to attend Princeton. I have no doubt that she will do it.

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So there's the background. Kathryn's presentation was all about why I should take her to Uganda with me when we go get Betty. As you can see, she is a bit nervous here in the beginning.

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The poster was very impressive!

Can you see the thought bubble?

It says there, "Do you see Betty's big smile in the picture? It's because she was thinking about her new cousin that she NEEDS to see as soon as possible." Oh brother!

Kathryn and Seth definitely have a special bond.

On that point, she is right. :)

Kathryn's presentation addressed concerns:

She is thinking through the thought of being gone from school.

Eighth grade is serious business these days!

Kathryn took the initiative to look up Princeton's application process and decided this trip would be the perfect essay. Oy vey.....

Isn't she adorable?

I do believe she thought of everything!

I just had to end where we began. Hahahaha!

I loved Kit's presentation. The bottom line, however, is that it is not up to me. Her parents have to decide whether it makes sense for her to miss school (which is a big deal) and how they feel about disease potential etc. (also serious). I told Kathryn I would gladly take her, IF her dad says it is okay. I did challenge her, however, to have some skin in the game. I told her that if she is allowed to go, I want her to raise $500 to buy supplies and necessities for the people we will see in Uganda. Suffice it to say that I raised this issue and her eyes LIT UP. Kathryn loves a challenge and her mom and I could see the wheels start turning the minute I mentioned it.

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So here's hoping that Kathryn can join the fun. It would be life altering for her, for sure. And stay tuned for additional posts, pending parental approval, about Kathryn's wild fund-raising successes. Gooooo Uganda!

Guess what?!?!?!

This precious little girl . . . .

. . . . With eyes that speak volumes . . . .

. . . . Is Betty . . . .

And, WE ARE ADOPTING BETTY!!!!!!

Seth

I was inspired reading No Greater Mom's story about their daughter who does not speak. (See her blog on the right margin.) No, Seth was never in an orphanage. No, he was not abused nor hurt in anyway. I was blessed to have him straight from the delivery nurse's arms. But nevertheless, as I've written, he has some little issues.

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I got a note from his Occupational Therapist yesterday that read as follows:

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"Seth used some spontaneous language today. He said, "bye, birdies" and answered the question, "What color is this?" He completed an alphabet puzzle and repeated the names of words beginning with specific letters. He spontaneously named objects on a number puzzle as well (baseballs, tooth brush and stars). Seth also enjoyed coloring and helping Joan erase what had been drawn on the dry-erase board. He identified which face was 'happy and sad.' Hope all is well. Seth is doing SO WELL! :-)" Joan

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I was thrilled to see this note when I got home. And then, No Greater Joy mom reminded me that even the small victories in development are victories nonetheless.

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Seth and I celebrated with ice cream. Ahhhh, summer. I won't tell you where that sherbet scoop was just moments before.... (sigh)

Race in the U.S.

I have had some interesting discussions and thoughts on race in America lately. I thought I would share some of those thoughts, mostly because I'm interested in getting more resources from anyone who might be reading!

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To begin, I receive tons of emails from my adoption attorney here in Chicago, providing articles and book reviews and gatherings of other multi-cultural families. It has allowed me to stay up to date on issues and thoughts (some of which I agree with and others, not so much). A few months ago, I got an article that was discussing the way we talk to non-white children about their future. The author made the point that, when raising little girls, we repeatedly tell them that they "can be anything they want to be" when they grow up. See, we aren't afraid of gender. The boy/girl distinctions are ones that we are comfortable discussing and even confronting.

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But it is different with race. The referenced study showed that parents of non-white children are much less likely to talk with their child about their potential in life (unlike in the gender distinctions). The author made the point that we are afraid (read: terrified) to point out and discuss race. Hmmm. I think she has a point.

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Right after I read that, I started to talk to Seth about his beautiful brown skin and mommy's peach colored skin. He looked me like I was crazy, but I know it's all sinkin' in there somewhere! I want Seth to know that his skin is beautiful and that he can "be" whatever he wants when he grows up!

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Then, I had a great conversation with my friend, Kathy, about race. We discussed how it is a good first step when our kids say, "Mom, the color of their skin doesn't matter," but it's only a first step. See, unfortunately, the color of your skin DOES matter in this country. Still. Even with a black President. It matters. So how do we go the next step with our kids?

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I started reading "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla -- Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World" by Marguerite A. Wright. I'm only 40 pages in (so I can't completely endorse it yet) but there is a quote I want to share:

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"Make no mistake: this book would not be necessary were racism irrelevant. Since racism remains very much a fact of U.S. society, responsible parents and caregivers need to reduce its impact on the development of the children they love and care for. Tragically, when they misjudge children's responses to "racial" issues by relying on their own adult views, they run the risk of magnifying the significance of race problems in their children's lives and of reducing their children's initially high capacity to handle these issues in positive ways as they mature."

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Based on my reading of the first few chapters of this book, she is right! We think when a two year old says he "wants to be white" that we have failed to identify with his race, when in reality the child does not understand race identity and may want to be white because he just spent time with his best friend, wearing a white shirt!

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Lord, help me to teach Seth (and any future kiddos) appropriate beliefs about race and loving people the way Jesus would. Help me to protect him from racists views and to comfort him when he is hurt. Thank you for creating us beautifully in our skin -- no matter what color. Amen.

To GOD be the Glory!!

Today at church, I was talking with Katie and another new friend about health issues that arise and how they may impact our faith. As we shared about the way "sickness" has challenged us in our walks with Christ, Katie mentioned that she thinks of me and how I've handled (or not) health challenges. My mind immediately jumped to Seth and I gave a nice little speech about how his issues showed up slowly and then got scarier and now are on the down swing. Just a quick side note: we learned last week that after his December check up, he will only have to see the eye doc once a year. Yippee!! He only sees the endocrinologist twice a year, doesn't have to see the neurologist any more, and is weaning therapy needs, other than speech. Truly, to God be the glory!

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But the funny thing about Katie's remark to me and my diatribe about Seth's health is that she turned to me when I stopped rambling and said, "I wasn't talking about Seth. I was talking about YOU." Wow. I totally missed that. It was far from my mind, which, after the last 8 months, is pretty hilarious. My health issues are far from my consciousness!! I feel great and healthy. I rarely have bad days anymore. I'm truly blessed to be healed and improving further everyday. Isn't it sooo totally awesome how God healed me?!?!? WuhHOOO!

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I want to always remember that time -- the last eight months -- when I was taken to my knees and forced to rely on God and God alone. I wept and prayed and wrestled. I trusted and questioned and, yes, doubted. But my faith (greater and smaller at various points) remained. I'm grateful to many people for prayers and to my doctors for patience and to my nutritionists for thinking outside the box. But mostly to my Heavenly Father.

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That's why, to GOD be the glory!!! Great things He has done.

HIV and Development

Last night, while I'm typically emailing with Betty's agency at 2 in the morning, I got an email with her measurements, which I had requested. She is 19 months old and just 28 inches tall and 22 pounds. While she is chubby for her very short height, she's a tiny thing! I looked up the growth percentage charts and she is in the 3% range, which I'm guessing is not uncommon for kiddos in an orphanage and certainly not unusual for HIV positive babes. I wonder if there is a different growth chart for Ugandans? (They are shorter on the whole, I noticed....)

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Anyway, I'm reading a new book called "Red Letters -- Living a Faith That Bleeds." Tom Davis wrote it. There was an interesting section on HIV that I read yesterday and thought I would share:

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"The following are blatant lies about HIV: You can contract HIV by sitting on a toilet seat. You can get HIV from a water fountain or from someone else's saliva. (You'd have to drink a five-gallon bucket's worth of spit to stand a chance. Any takers?) Only homosexuals or drug users get AIDS. You can tell by looking at people if they're infected by HIV. Debunking lies is easy. The truth, on the other hand, is not. Yes, the majority of people with HIV got it through sexual contact or because of drug use. But does that make them less worthy of compassion? It seems as if we have taken a hands-off approach to this disease because people classify it, at best, as a dirty disease and, at worst, as a curse from God. But how might Jesus have responded to AIDS?

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Obviously, AIDS is a new disease, not something Jesus would have encountered when He walked this earth. He did, however, encounter leprosy, which was considered a dirty disease at the time. Sure, there are some differences, but let's not get tripped up by that. Take a moment to look at leprosy. It doesn't require a time machine to see what it's like -- leprosy is still with us today . . .

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[When encountering leprosy] Jesus didn't walk on the other side of the road. He didn't scrunch up his face in disgust or withhold his hand. He reached out with love and compassion."

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Aren't we called to do the same?

Betty and the Doctor

Last week, Betty's doctors wrote me somewhat of a nasty email informing me that they would "absolutely not" provide me with her medical records to "decide" whether to adopt her. I can be sensitive and the truth is, it hurt my feelings a bit. But that's okay. I graciously responded that I intended no harm to Betty -- in fact, I care about her quite a lot. My intention in seeing the records was to understand the full scope of her issues. Not to be unfair to her.

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In any event, my Ugandan attorney had suggested from the beginning that I hire a doctor to evaluate Betty, so that's what I did. On Monday, Betty met with "my" pediatrician. The doctor reported that Betty is in good health and is developing normally. Praise God! She has dermatitis (which she had when I was there) and because of this visit, she is getting medicine! Yippee!! She also has an upper respiratory infection, which made me think: hey, that's going around over there too?

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All of that to say, things look good with Betty. Next up, chat with infectious disease doctor and meeting with my sister. :) Almost there! (Decision time, that is....)

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"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

1 Peter 5: 6-7

My Little Man

Here’s a quick update on Seth and his “stuff.” But first, here is a quick overview of his health background. Seth has hypo-plastic optic nerves. Basically, that means his optic nerves are dull and grey, kind of dead like. They are not bright pink like yours or mine. That means, he does not see well. Poorly, in fact. He is severely near-sighted. It is not an eye thing, it is a brain thing. He also has nystagmus, which means his eyes are in a constant state of moving, although that has improved, a astigmatism in his left eye, and pretty bad crossing, pre-surgery last fall. Because of the hypo-nerves, there are often other brain issues that join in. Like septo-optic dysplasia. With SOD, you can see pituitary issues and other developmental delays. So……

Seth had an MRI last summer. Looks mostly good. We saw a Neurologist a few times until he said we are done unless or until Seth has a seizure (another thing with SOD). Seth gets four therapies a week for his developmental delays. And, we see an Endocrinologist to monitor his hormone levels – which are regulated by the pituitary gland. At our last endocrine appointment, one of Seth’s levels was a little high, and he’s huge, by the way, so the doctor was a bit concerned that his Human Growth Hormone might be going crazy. Oy. I never push back on Seth’s doctors. But when the nurse called this time about another blood test, I was not happy. I pushed back big time. She explained it to me and eventually I told her it would have to wait until after I went to Uganda.

The first week I was back, I thought of it, but I wasn’t interested in forcing Seth to a doctor too soon after I got home. Week two, well, I just didn’t want to. So, on week three, I asked Eveline to stop by Children’s Memorial to give some blood and get it done. Thursday, the doctor’s office called and said all of his blood is NORMAL, NORMAL, NORMAL!!! I knew it. Thank you, Jesus! It’s a blast to watch God heal Seth, one blood test, word spoken, and friend at a time. AMEN.