And then there was . . . .

Last night, at bedtime, Seth proclaimed, "No Work." It's coming!!!!!
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Yippee! Pray on, warriors!

He speaks -- a little :)

Seth is coming up on two and a half years old and he doesn't really speak a whole lot. Well, at least not English. He talks in a language no one but he understands, and it can be hilarious. At this point, his speech is severely delayed, so in addition to his developmental and occupational therapies, he gets speech therapy. In April, he will start getting speech therapy twice a week.

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Last Thursday I had a meeting with a couple of Seth's therapists to talk about his progress, or lack thereof. They expressed some concern to me, more than I have heard for many months. Trouble is, they didn't offer me any solutions and even expressed some doubts about two sessions a week helping Seth at all. Don't come to me without solutions! YOU are the therapists! I was frustrated after the meeting and felt like it didn't go well.

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On Monday morning, after a great weekend of Seth and Mommy time, I was getting ready to leave for work and Seth was happily eating breakfast. I walked into the dining room and told Seth that I had to go to work and that we would ride bikes when I got home. He stopped eating, looked up at me with a clearly distressed face, and said, "No Mama buh-bye." Awwww. That's my adorable little boy! A three word sentence!!! And man, it's not easy to go to work after that one!

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So my take away? He will speak. When he's ready and in God's time. This whole situation just offers me more reasons to practice patience and trust God and know that He is in control. And more reasons to get on my knees!

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Father, walk with Seth and me through this time of learning and development. Teach us to rely more on You, for everything. Continue to teach us that no aspiration (including speaking) is more important than You. And, Lord, bring the speech, for Seth and I have much to discuss. :) Amen.

Looking Ahead

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to go to Africa. Any country, really. Just the continent in general. God has grown my love for its people and His land over the years. I've traveled a ton to far away places around the world, but never to Africa.

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Last Fall, I met with friends from World Vision and planned to travel with them to Africa this May. And I was excited! The plan was to head to Zambia to see some of World Vision's many water projects and begin to understand my role as a donor to this great organization.

In early January, I got the itinerary for the trip, and it was amazing! Victoria Falls, a safari, and lots of traveling around. Wow! Then, the earth quake in Haiti. My feelings about a lot of things changed after that day and I lost the drive to go to Zambia. One reason was because I wanted to go to Haiti and serve instead. Another reason was because the World Vision trip was touring and not working. Not a mission trip. And it was expensive. I'd rather donate that money, I thought. I remember telling my mom that I wanted to go to Haiti, OR to Uganda with the folks from A Place Called Simplicity who take a mission trip there most years.

http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/

So I started looking for trips to Haiti online. Groups that would take me even though I'm not a doctor. I have other skills! (Or so I tell myself..... Ha). I found a group that would take me, but then they ran into troubles of their own in Haiti and that wasn't going to work, at least not this Spring.

In February, the posting I'd been hoping for arrived. The Uganda trip was coming and open. I jumped! A week later I had applied, shortly thereafter I was "accepted" and on May 12, it's off to Uganda for two weeks! It's the perfect trip for me. A work trip of sorts, with a group of passionate believers. And we will really meet and serve people -- not just tour. Love it!

I'm starting to pray NOW about this trip. For protection and health and fruitfulness and faithfulness and FUN. Lord, bless this trip. May it be a delight to You.

Africa here I come!!! (Finally!)

Haiti

I have a friend, Lori, who is a doctor and is in Haiti right now. (This is at least the fourth doctor I've personally known to go! I'm jealous!). Lori had a fair amount of anxiety about going -- about leaving her family and what she might see and what she might experience. But she was brave and went anyway. Praise God! Please pray for her and her team -- that they would be safe, serve people, and glorify God. I will let her know she is covered in prayer. Thanks!

Remembering

Now THAT's Remembering!

First day home:

One month old

Two Months Old

Three Months Old

Four Months Old

Five Months Old

(He will kill me for this one day)

Six Months Old

Seven Months Old

Don't we look alike? In the heart? :-)

Eight Months Old

Nine Months Old

Ten Months Old

Eleven Months Old

And ONE YEAR OLD!

Wuh hoooo!

Personal Update

I started this blog back in late December to kick off our wait for baby number two in our family. I remain excited about that prospect and continue to dream of the laughter of siblings in our home. I put that adoption on hold when I felt like God and I had some unfinished business to discuss prior to going forward. There are plenty of postings on that whole topic! At this point, I think I’ve worked through all of my little (or big) issues and that I have a green light from God to adopt a second child, except for one thing: I need to make certain that my health is really on the right foot before I can proceed because being a single mama doesn’t really afford you the opportunity to rest much! (And I know that parenting with a hubby doesn’t either…..) While I have good days and bad days and I’ve been feeling progressively better overall, I’m not quite there yet. My hope had been that by March 1 I could press go, but it wasn’t time yet. Now I’m hoping for May 1. What a nice spring/summer blessing that would be!

Thanks so much to all of you who are asking about it and praying for us and baby number two, whenever s/he will arrive. I’m still excited; I’m still energized when I think of it; I still believe it’s God’s call for me. It’s just time to wait on Him and be obedient. Pray on warriors!

God Speaks

A few weeks ago, one of my dear friends said to me, of some of my recent blogs, "I envy your prayer life" or something along those lines. My first thought was to laugh and confess that I too envy my current prayer life! It isn't usually this way. I have too often in my life become one of those "pop corn" prayers kind of girls who shoots up praises and requests all day long without a sustained period of prayer time with my Lord. My sinfulness gets in the way of worship of my Savior. Ugh!

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For the last several months, it has been different. And God has been different. I pray; He speaks. Literally. It is almost eerie it has become so real to me. I expect it now . . . listen for it differently . . . expect a miracle. There have probably been only two other times in my 40 years of living where I felt that same deep connection with God where we had a daily ongoing dialogue -- in both directions. It's my fault, I believe, because God is always there listening and waiting for that conversation. I fail to meet Him in His holy place. (sigh) That's disappointing!

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Friday night, I met with God again. This time, I was in the middle of my Epsom bath soak (doctor's orders--ha) and began to pray for complete healing. God and I talked about it for a while. And then God brought to mind those healings performed by Jesus while he was here on earth. "Remember," God said to me, "People were healed by Jesus just by touching the hem of his cloak. Touch me, and be healed." It was interesting that came to my mind. I had never really thought about what a modern day healing looks like or how it might happen but there, in my relaxation, God said, "Touch me." Hmm.

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After I was done, I was re-energized. I bolted up, threw on my jammies (ah...) and went downstairs. I put on some praise music and turned it up loud, and I worshipped. I sang and I danced and I threw my hands up to the Lord, worshipping. When is the last time I did that? Um, never. I'm too inhibited to worship like that. I'm too staid to worship like that, even alone. But Friday, in the privacy of my home, with my hands held high, heart open wide, and a reckless abandon that could only be called supernatural, I touched Jesus. And I'm believing Him for the miracle of healing. Now.

Wait and See

I think flying time is a great time to pray. The hum of the plane drowns out most of the background noise and I can focus on something other than a two year old, ringing phones, blackberry messages, or TV. Ah, peace.

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On my trip to Minnesota this week, I prayed going both ways for the short one-hour flight. On the way up, I prayed through my "usual" list of things that God and I like to talk about. On the way back, I prayed for healing for my silly body. Total health! But it was the prayers on the way up that got me scratching my head this week.

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I was praying for a Godly man for Seth and me. My husband and his daddy. Not a new prayer. As I was praying, I felt like God was saying that he (my hubby) is coming and soon. Hmm. That's strange, I thought. Probably just my mind getting in the way of hearing the Lord. I prayed on but the moment didn't pass. Instead, it got stronger. So I asked God, "Why do I feel like you're telling me that my husband is coming?". And I waited. Just like that night two months ago when God sent a flashing neon sign (not literally) to get me into Seth's room to pray for him, God said to me: "Wait and see". What Lord? "Wait and see," He said again.

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Oooh that made me excited. :) I have no real idea what it means -- it's not as if He said, "Yes, he's coming soon and it will be this year and his name will be ___." [That would be nice, eh?] And I have precisely zero prospects on the horizon. But we worship a big God who can do anything! So I felt myself get a little excited. Do I know him already? Will I meet him tomorrow? Will we like each other immediately? Where does he live? What does he look like? So pray with me, if you're led, that this Word wasn't my imagination and that God was making clear His plan for Seth and me: a Godly man to lovingly lead our home. Go God!

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jer. 29:11-13

What's in a name?

Between September and Seth's arrival in November, we (my family and I) were in the great debate about his name. In fact, the debate started in Mexico with Julie. (Boy did Jules and I have some fun with that debate!) I wanted a Biblical name and one that's not overly used. So while I love love love the name Jacob, it wasn't going to happen. (Sorry all you Jakes out there!). My favorite name (in full) was Zechariah Louis Steiner. I like Zechariah still today. And Louis..... Well, my middle name is Louise and it seemed like a nice variation on my awful name. Ha. The problem there is, I'm not a fan of Zach. (Sorry, again. For the record, Deborah isn't on my short list either....) So, if I ever have a Zechariah, please call him by his full name or "Z" but not Zach. :-)

Anyway, we talked about Isaac and Isaiah and Caleb and a lot of other primarily Old Testament names. It was my sister that brought up Seth. At first, I wasn't a fan. But then a quick google search confirmed it's not one of the trendy names and I started to consider it. Hmmm. Seth Steiner doesn't flow perfectly (kind of a tongue twister) but the name started growing on me.

On November 15 when Noreen called me to tell me the baby was born, she also told me that Grace named him -- something I was prepared for. She named him Camron (note spelling). "Okay," I thought, "let's see if we can work with that." Zechariah Cameron? Um, no. Seth Cameron. Hmmm. Nice name. Very nice. Seth Cameron Steiner. That's it! Love it! So as a tribute to our dear birth mom Grace, Seth has the middle name that sounds like her given name (Camron vs Cameron) and the Biblical name first. Seth means appointed one. Ah. Perfect. Adopted by me and God, appointed for a purpose. Can't wait to see what that is!

I never thought I would have a son named Seth and I do. My perfectly joyful crazy man Seth Cameron. Oh how I adore him!!

My sister

For the record, here in front of everyone, I adore my sister, Lisa. She is awesome and I'm not sure she will ever really know how much I look up to her, admire her, respect her and, yes, envy her. So when I shared about my adoption and I could tell she was unsettled about it, that was hard.

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When we finally had the chance to talk, after I was already into the process of things, I was able to hear Lisa's questions and not feel threatened or attacked by them. Her primary question was this: God has not given you a husband. True. Can't argue with that. :-) Do you think that by adopting without a husband you are forcing God's will toward what you want rather than waiting on Him? Good question. And we had a great conversation about it, although I can't now remember the specifics of everything we discussed. Ha. But here is what I think now and I've written about this before.

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I believe God has not made us robots. He has given us free will, a mind, and allows us real choice. I also think that the belief behind Lisa's question can lead to a slippery slope that she doesn't intend like this: if you believe God is going to heal you, why do you see the doctor? Or, if you're not able to get pregnant, why are you using fertility drugs? Or, why are you using birth control? Or, why are you doing on-line dating when God could bring "the man" to your door? That thinking leads to a passive Christian life of waiting for things to happen to you rather than fully embracing faith-filled freedom in Christ. That's not the life I want to live. Further, God commands us to care for widows and orphans, and I'm all about that!

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Don't get me wrong. I think there is an opposite slippery slope to be heeded and it looks like this: as long as it isn't prohibited in scripture, I can do whatever I want. So I'm going to adopt ten kids on my own and ignore any Godly wisdom that might be shared with me. Um, danger danger!! I think what made my conversation with Lisa so beautiful and the reason why the specifics of it don't matter is that we got to hear each other's heart. I heard her pain over my pain of not having the spouse I desired, and her wisdom about waiting on the Lord. And she heard me sharing that the adoption option was not a flippant decision on my part to fill some kind of purported void. But was a call and spirit led and God ordained and carefully planned. Something she could stand behind. So by the time the call was over, I think she was on board.

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Now, she's even more on board, I think, and oh how Seth loves his Aunt eee-sah!!! So does his mama. :-)